


Warmth

by MistressVanya



Series: Garden of Roses and War [3]
Category: Fire Emblem Heroes
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Self-Doubt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-24 12:45:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,878
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16640375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MistressVanya/pseuds/MistressVanya
Summary: “I…” She struggles for the right word, inhaling and exhaling several times before speaking in a soft voice.“I wish to talk to you.”





	Warmth

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while since I post another work in this fandom. I've been pretty busy with my college homeworks and such. Somehow I manage to squeeze another work. This is the sequel of Stars, and I hope you like it.
> 
> Also, English is not my mother language so I deeply apologize for any spelling or grammatical error.
> 
> Best Regards,  
> Mistress Vanya

 Sigurd exits the infirmary only to find Eldigan leaning on the wall beside the door. So he’s eavesdropping, huh?

“I suppose it didn’t go well?” He can hear a soft sobbing from inside the room, which means something bad happened.

The prince can only sighs and shrugs. “You guess it right. She even asked me to leave her alone. Which is one sign that either I did something wrong, or she hides something from me and she didn’t want me to know. Or not trusting me enough.”

Eldigan pats the blue haired prince on his shoulder. “Hey,” He stares at Eldigan’s blue eyes, “It’s not your fault this happens. You’re not to blame.” The blond tries to reassure Sigurd, in which the prince responds by sighing deeply.

“Nor we can place the blame on her, too.” Sigurd wraps his arm around Eldigan’s shoulder and steers him further from the infirmary to prevent Katja knows that they’re out there when she clearly wanted to be left alone.

“Still, I feel like I must apologize for sending you there instead of asking her myself. I thought she’d be more open with you than with me. Especially with her calling you ‘Papa’.”

“She doesn’t open up to anyone, Eldigan. She’s hiding behind those walls, in a cage she build herself. For a reason we don’t know yet.”

\---OooOooO---

It takes a long time (and an immense amount of persuasion) to make Lucius (finally) allows her to leave the infirmary and roams the castle. The blond actually is very reluctant to let her go, especially with her wound still hasn’t completely healed yet. But the Summoner is getting restless and bored. Staying in the infirmary also did her no good, as she can’t sleep in a public place where everyone could come and go. She prefers sleeping inside the privacy of her own room. Also, Katja had been making any excuses so she could be discharged completely, and it starts to drive Lucius a bit crazy.

So, for the sake of the Summoner (and his own sanity/patience), Lucius discharges her with a heavy sigh. Though he did ask several heroes (some sneaky ninjas) to keep an eye on her.

When she finally gets some fresh air (the air in the infirmary is thick with the smell of medicines and antiseptics), she immediately directs to the garden, her special place to think and be herself. The others already know about the existence of this place, yet they rarely visit that place. One reason is due to its remote location. Except for the younger heroes and some animals, they love that place (both Minervas, for example).

She lies on the grass, very careful about her wound. Today’s weather is perfect for her. Cloudy with soft breezes caressing her hair. Katja doesn’t really like sunny weather, where the sun is up high on the sky. Her pale skin can’t handle heat that well, especially when she’s all exposed to the sun. Katja prefers a cloudy day with chilly wind. Somehow the sight of grey sky soothes her more than a sun.

“Laid low by their scars… A people wounded by free… Seek what lies beyond this dark age…” A very familiar singing voice muses Katja from her daydream. Though there is something really wrong with that voice. The song itself comes from the world of Echoes, Alm’s world. Yet the singer comes from the world of Fates. A male singer that inherits Azura’s beautiful voice. The one and only, Shigure.

How in the world Shigure sings a song from Alm’s world? Doesn’t he usually sings that song he learned from Azura?

Still, Katja is not a person who would say no to Shigure’s singing. His voice is heavenly, to the point where even the way he talk is melodious. If Shigure sang, Katja would be happy to just stay there beside him forever, listening to him. No matter what song he sang, it is always beautiful. The voice sounds close, which means Shigure is not that far from her. She stands to look for him. Katja wants to watch Shigure sing from up close.

Turns out Shigure is indeed not that far from her. He’s standing on a ruined pavilion just behind the bushes. Shigure is still singing that song, The Heritors of Arcadia, with all of his heart. He has his eyes closed, so he probably won’t realize Katja creeping out from behind the bushes to hear him sing.

“The seasons turn, summer to fall… Time’s warm embrace begins to heal all…”

Katja knows this song. Some of the heroes from the world of Echoes often sing the song. And thus, Katja knows the words by heart. The way Shigure sing urges her to follow him. And she does, humming the song under her breath.

“On the wild at first light, the Jasper Lion will run…. Hark an anthem he drums, can you hear?”

Shigure seems to realize that there is another person there beside him. Though the fact that he doesn’t stop singing means he knows very well who intrudes him (after all, he doesn’t really like singing for an audience). Moreover, his performance now changes a bit, the one that is intended to entertain her.

The song entices her to come closer, not hiding behind the bushes anymore. Her blue eyes catch Shigure’s golden ones, and he smiles, beckoning her to sit. Katja complies and sit in front of him, amazed at how beautiful his voice is. Shigure, by far, is one of the gentlest and purest man she ever met at Askr. He might not be as charming and handsome as the other male heroes, but he has a gentleness and a sensitivity that (so far) no one can compare. Shigure can be a lone wolf sometimes, yet he’s still friendly and approachable. He’s kind and sympathetic, with talents for singing and artistry. Sometimes Katja can’t believe that Shigure is far younger than her.

She’s too immersed in his singing until she doesn’t realize that he’s done with it and already descending the pavilion’s stairs to sit in front of her.

“Good afternoon, Katja. How do you feel today? I see you’re already discharged by Lucius.” As if he’s used to it, Shigure puts his right palm to Katja’s forehead, checking her temperature.

Katja is a bit surprised by the sudden touch on her forehead, which causes her freckled cheeks to blossom red like the roses she dearly loved. She remembers Lissa telling her that Shigure has helped her when she’s delirious from the fever caused by the poison in her bloodstream. Every time her delirium makes her uneasy and restless, Shigure would then sing that song and Katja would fall asleep peacefully. Maybe Shigure feels this need to check on her since he’s been on her bedside for a week. Only when the effects of the poison has lessened he finally leaves her to get some proper rest.

“Mhm…” She mumbles, “I’m feeling pretty fine so far. No dizziness or pain so far.” Shigure’s hand is warm, and Katja finds herself wanting more touch from that hand. Thankfully her embarrassment has enough power to prevent her from leaning into that hand. She’s also glad Shigure quickly pulls his hand away after he deemed Katja’s temperature is normal.

Though, Shigure has this worried look on his face. “You don’t look fine. Something happens?” His brows are furrowed, “You can tell me anything… I don’t like seeing you troubled.” Well, Shigure doesn’t like seeing anyone troubled.

Katja grimaces at that. Sometimes Shigure can read her so quickly despite her efforts to hide everything beneath the surface. She still feels guilty for making Sigurd leave yesterday, just because she doesn’t trust him enough to tell her emotional distress. Katja really, really, wants to talk to Shigure about this, asking his opinion on this matter. Yet she’s afraid that she’ll ended up asking Shigure to leave too, which is the last thing she wants.

“Nothing worth to be worried about. Especially by you.” She pulls her legs as close as she can to her chest, hugging them. This unconscious gesture implies a barrier she makes between Shigure and herself.

If there is one thing Shigure learnt from Katja is, when she starts displaying some kind of barrier to him or if she seems reluctant to tell about something, then he shouldn’t push it further. He should just let her be, and distracts her attention instead. Not because he doesn’t want to help her, but because he knows that sometimes leaving her alone is the only thing that will help her instead of pushing her.

Shigure stands, and at first Katja thought he’s going to leave her. But then, he offers his hand to Katja.

“Would you like to join me for a ride on my Pegasus?” Shigure has this serene look on his face.

Katja thinks for a minute, before accepting Shigure’s hand and use it to prop herself up. Her side throbs a bit, but she ignores it.

“If you promise to sing again. I know a place where you can perform with only me as your audience.”

He chuckles, a pleasing melody to her ear.

“I promise.”

\---OooOooO---

Katja lies perfectly awake on her bed, unable to sleep again. She managed some light sleep for about an hour, until a horrific dream woke her up, leaving her gasping for breath. Now that she’s already awake, there’s no way she’d be able to fall asleep again. She feels a bit guilty at Lucius, as she promised him to get more sleep so she would recover quickly. Instead, this is already the fifth night of restlessness for her. Katja is not a stranger to nightmares, but the frequency of her nightmares will increase if she had some repressed emotions inside her mind. Can be anything. Guilt. Loneliness. Anger. Sadness.

So far, the main problem is the guilt she currently feels to Sigurd. She asked him to leave, when clearly all he wanted that time was to console her and getting closer to her. Despite their close father-daughter relationship, there is still this invisible wall between both of them. Not only to Sigurd, but to almost everyone at Askr. Even Fjorm, who is her best friend. Sigurd keeps trying to destroy that wall, yet every time he succeeds in destroying some parts, Katja thickens that wall by stacking more bricks.

She wants to trust Sigurd. She really wants to open her heart and trusts everyone around here. Yet years of being betrayed by people close to her makes her afraid of opening up. What if she was betrayed again? What if once Sigurd knows more about her, he’ll left her because he’s disgusted at her? What if…. What if…. Too many ‘what if’s currently running around inside her head.

Sigurd is doing his best. He’s putting efforts in what he does.

And all Katja does to him is pushing him away further. Not even putting the slightest trust she has in him.

The guilt is eating her alive, and she’d do anything to mend this. Katja feels like Sigurd was also hurt by her words, by her asking him to leave, by not trusting him with all her heart. The last thing she wants is Sigurd being hurt. That man has had his shares of pain all of his life, even until his death. Him being summoned here gives him a second chance to live happily with his family, free from any pain.

“I’m such a coward,” Katja curls to her uninjured side. “My life so far has been much more easier than his life… Yet why am I acting like this?” She mentally scolds herself. “Stupid, idiot, weak Katja. Stupid, stupid! This is why he… did that. I was too weak. And a coward.” With that, she lifts herself up from her bed. She’s going to speak to Sigurd, no matter how her brain screams at her about the previous ‘what if’s.

_‘Be brave,’_  That’s what Shigure said to her before, when they’re soaring through the sky together.  _‘I want you to be brave, Katja. And not only in the battle.’_

Yes, she’s going to be brave. By doing this.

With that resolve in her heart, she walks to Sigurd’s bedroom, avoiding whoever patrolling tonight.

\---OooOooO---

It’s late at night, yet Sigurd finds himself being immersed in a book Lewyn gave him at the dinner. He’s a bit sceptical at first, but then once he read it, he couldn’t stop. Ethlyn will definitely scold him later, probably in the morning, but Sigurd probably will just brush it off and proceeds to tease his younger sister.

He doesn’t expect the soft knock on his bedroom door. Faint, almost unnoticeable if Sigurd didn’t have a sharp hearing. The prince puts a bookmark and opens the door, ready to welcome anyone who visits him in the middle of the night.

“Hey, Papa.”

There, in front of his bedroom, stands Katja. Only donned in her sleepwear with messy hair and a look of hesitation on her face, as if she’s not sure what is she doing here. The usually brave and tough Summoner looks fragile and delicate, unlike Katja in the battlefield. Since that day, Sigurd rarely interacts with Katja outside some formal occasions. Mostly he just sees her in the dining room or passes her in the castle corridor. He’s actually a bit glad that he can talk to her again.

Still, Sigurd smiles at his ‘adopted’ daughter.

“Night, Katja. What makes you wander here in the middle of the night?” Sigurd acts as if nothing had happened between them by gently ruffling Katja’s dark hair. “You’re supposed to be resting, you know. What will Lucius say if he knew you’re wandering alone in the middle of the night?” He even scolds her a bit, not unkindly.

“I…” She struggles for the right word, inhaling and exhaling several times before speaking in a soft voice. “I wish to talk to you.” She lifts her head and stares straight at Sigurd’s eyes, determination shine in them.

That catch Sigurd off-guard.

“Sure, Katja. Come in, then.” He lets her enter his bedroom. “It’s quite chilly outside. Don’t want any of us to catch a cold, right?”

Katja nods in response to that and proceeds to enter the messy bedroom. Well. Even here, he’s still quite lazy and messy, not even cleaning his own bedroom unless after being scolded by Ethlyn.

“I didn’t expect you to visit…” The prince scratches his nape sheepishly, seemingly aware at how messy his bedroom is right now. Clothes strewn on the floor, empty cups on the nightstand, and casually thrown boots. He didn’t even dress properly, only in his loose sleepwear. If he had known Katja would come, he’d wear an appropriate clothes and tidy his room a bit. “Pardon the mess. Make yourself comfortable, Katja.”

Again, she only nods and sits on the bed, the only place currently tidy enough for her to sit comfortably. Now she know why Ethlyn sometimes talks about how both her husband and her older brother are sloppy when she scolds Katja about her appearance. This room  _is_  messy. Messier than her own, and she considers herself sloppy. Meanwhile Sigurd busies himself by cleaning up a bit. If stacking some clothes in a large pile and shoving everything into the corner are considered ‘cleaning up’.

Several minutes passed until Sigurd finishes and sit beside her, where she leans on the headboard with arms wrapped around her legs.

“What is it that you want to talk about, Katja?”

“I…” Again that hesitation flashes across her face for a moment, before determination kicks back in. “I want to apologize to you, Papa. For what I said that time.”

Sigurd is about to answer her when she holds her hand up, cutting him off before he could speak. No, she’s not done yet. Sigurd can respond once she’s finished with her speech.

“I did something bad that time, Papa. I know you’re just trying to console me, to make me feel better. Especially after what I said to Eldigan before I passed out from my wound. I realized how that must make you feel, hearing that kind of thing from Eldigan when I’m badly hurt.” She stares straight at his eyes. “I’m not going to hide it from you anymore, Papa. Not when I finally believe that you genuinely care about me.”

“Katja, of course I—“ Again, he is cut short by the same hand. Sigurd obeys and stays silent. Even though he really wants to make Katja sure that he cares about her. That it’s not just because of their Master and Knight relationship. He lets her call him ‘Papa’, right? Sigurd just can’t understand why after all these things he did to her, she still doubts his paternal feelings for her.

“I’m so sorry, Papa… I have to admit that I have difficulties in trusting people. Anyone, actually. Not only you. Even Fjorm, even Shigure, even Alfonse. There are times where I doubt their kindness. Doubting whether they actually care about me, or because there are things they want from me. This is one of the reason why I find it hard to form new relationship with others.”

Now the only thing Sigurd can do is pulling her into the his embrace, which causes her to gasps softly and goes all stiff on his chest. Katja herself doesn’t know whether to melt into the warm embrace, or to pulls away. Warm. Sigurd is warm. Human touches are warm, and she has been touched a lot since she came to Askr. It’s not a bad thing, though. Katja somehow already forgotten how comfortable it can be to be touched and embraced by others with love and tenderness, not from lust and desire to rip her apart.

“You can trust me, Katja. My care for you is pure and genuine. I can assure you that.” Katja did say he couldn’t speak until she’s done, but he feels like he  _must_  speak about this.

Eventually she relaxes in his embrace, sagging as if she had lost all of her strength. Now she feels even more guilty about this, about doubting Sigurd.

“Papa, forgive me for doubting you before… I’ll try my best to trust you…” Katja buries her face in Sigurd’s chest, inhaling the calming scent of him.

Sigurd smiles into her soft, dark hair. “Do it at your own pace, Katja… Don’t force yourself… I understand now…” He can’t deny that he’s a bit hurt and wounded by Katja’s occassional indifference to him, especially after she asked him to leave that day. He did try to ‘accept’ Katja’s harsh words on him, still it stung to be ignored like that.

After a few minutes of silence between them, Sigurd carefully asks her.

“Are you going to tell me what happened before, Katja?”

Katja just hums softly into the crook of his neck, as if hesitated to say it.

“You don’t have to—“

For the third time tonight, he’s cut off by her again.

“I want to. But promise me you won’t laugh, okay?” She pulls away from the warm embrace she dearly likes, and lies back on the bed when her wound starts throbbing a bit. Sigurd follows her, lying on his side beside her after pulling the blanket over their body.

“I promise.”

“It’s just some silly thought of mine, actually. I mean… I never think of myself as a bright person… I always think that I’m… Not good enough. For everything, for everyone. I believe that ‘not being a good person’ is the reason why people left me alone…”

Now is not a time to tell Sigurd the ‘real’ reason, not yet. She’s not ready. This is already a huge leapt for her, opening up to someone. And if she forced herself to step up the stairs too fast, she’ll fall down and it’s never a good thing.

“Like I said before, it’s silly. At that time I was wondering whether I’m good enough for you all. Everyone here, except me, are great warriors or scholars or knights. Some even are legendary heroes. You are all great person. Then why are you following my orders, following me? A mere woman who came from a totally different world than you… A woman who knows nothing about the war, about battlefield, about the cruel nature of human.” She turns on her back, glancing at the canopy above her.

“I grew up in a place where these cruelties are hidden by smiling face, in a place where wars are masked by peace. Yet I never knew the ‘real’ war nor cruelties. I grew up pretending my world is a better place to live. But you, all of you… Grew up in a war torn world. In a world where human’s nature are exposed and war is a real thing. We grew up in a different world, yet all of you decided to follow me and choose me as your Summoner. When there are better person than me.”

 “I’m just one dim star between thousands of radiantly sparkling star. A dim, dull star that is barely noticeable. A star that surely no one will notice if it fades away, disappearing forever. Then I asked myself… Am I really worthy all of your attention and time? Wouldn’t it be better if I just disappeared? Then all of you can pick up a new person, better and much more worthy of your existence than me.”

Katja laughs softly, a bitter laugh.

“See? It’s just some silly thought. You don’t have to worry that much about this, Papa.” She’s just about to turn around to face the other way when Sigurd’s hand touches her shoulder and he gently flips her over so they can have some eye contact.

Like his embrace before, Sigurd’s eyes show warmth and kindness. He smiles at her, the same warm smile. Everything on Sigurd right now just screams ‘warmth’ at her.

“It’s not silly if it ate yourself alive.” He’s not good at words so instead of saying things that he might regret later, he will use actions on her. By pulling her into another warm embrace, in which she immediately grows lax there.

“Haven’t I told you before? You’re not a dim star, Katja. You’re a sun.” Sigurd whispers to her again softly.

“But Papa…” Katja frowns at that.

“Hm?”

“….Sun is a star too…”

“…oops.”

 

 

_Epilogue_

 “Shh, Ethlyn don’t be so loud… She’ll wake up…”

A soft sigh. “I better tell Lucius about this. He’s almost fuming when his patient is not sleeping in her own bedroom.”

“At least she got a proper sleep. God knows when was the last time she a decent and proper sleep.”

Ethlyn smiles sotly at the sight of a sleeping Katja, curled near Sigurd’s hips. One arm is slung over Sigurd’s thighs, and her face is buried on the older man’s back. “Well, we’d better let her sleep, then…”

Sigurd runs his hand through Katja’s messy black hair, smiling in relief when she sniffles a bit but still deep in her sleep.

“Oh yes, Ethlyn, I want to ask you something.”

“What is it, brother?”

“…Since when the sun is a star?"

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Katja and Sigurd's relationship is purely platonic. Katja considers Sigurd as her 'Papa', and Sigurd considers her as his 'daughter'. Also, I assume at that time in Sigurd's world, the knowledge that the sun is a star is not yet exist. 
> 
> Anyway, thank you for reading this story! Please give me lots of love and kudos!


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